Major Changing

I last left you with a poorly written summary about what I wanted to be when I grew up. As I entered college, I thought that Criminal Justice would be my passion. The more I think about it, the more I’m not so sure.

Here is what really bothers me. What the hell is my degree going to be worth? There isn’t much I can particularly do with it. Business majors go into business. Pharmacy majors become pharmacists, nursing majors become nurses. Journalism majors become journalists, and political science majors become real estate appraisers (like my Dad). Hey V, I know how much you think of them!

With my major, I feel like I limited myself too much. If I don’t want to become a police officer or correctional officer, there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot left over. I’m not opposed to probation or parole, but those can be very difficult (political) jobs to get. Some of you probably know my feelings on security. Loss prevention can be a good gig, but I just don’t like business that much. That leaves me with about only 1 good option left. Law school.

I took the LSAT for the first time about a year ago. I did terribly. I could barely get into a 3rd tier law school with the score I got. Since then, I’ve been so disheartened about law school. I’ve been questioning everything. Do I even want to enter such an over saturated profession anyway? It pains me that I’ve been so disenchanted in trying to achieve my goals.

It’s also weird that I feel like I’m being pushed too hard and not enough at the same time. I know that reads like a contradiction. Translated: There is pressure on me for high expectations, but I’m lacking the self motivation to get there. But that’s life, right? Those who can’t cope are sometimes the same as those who fail.

Writing about this reminds me of a lot of articles and blog posts that I have read lately about people my age. We’ve all grown up being told that we’re special and different. There is no doubt in my mind that we are all individuals, but I don’t believe that that significantly sets us apart from each other. We’ve become narcissistic and shun what seems ordinary or non-prestigious.

I have a confession. Some days, I feel I would be happiest with my old job of managing the frozen food department at the supermarket. I don’t know why I loved that job so much. Some days, I feel I would be happy working at the supermarket period. Then, other days, I want to take a flamethrower and burn the place down.

My friends and family would say to me, “SC, we just want you to be happy, and we’ll support you.” I believe them kind of, but I know they’ll secretly be talking about my wasted potential. In any case, I still worry that I won’t find something that I don’t hate doing, but it’s no use over worrying about it for now. With about half a year left to go before I graduate, I still have a ways to go before I’ll have to settle down.

~ by southclaw on May 25, 2007.